From Afar: Ryohei's Side
by Arano
Summary: Continuation of Ryohei's side of the story in From Afar on Mukkura's profile. Ryohei struggles with feelings between love and friendship with I-pin.


-Before reading this, read the first section at .net/s/6708130/1/From_Afar and make sure to check back here for Ryohei's side of the story and I-pin's side on Mukkura's profile-

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Ryohei opens the front door forcefully, but with control. The rest of the walk home had given him time to calm down, or rather mix up his emotions further. The more he thought about it, the more sorrow built up in him about I-pin and more rage about Hibari. Going back and forth between these two resulted in his dejected mood. He was glad he d taken a less traveled way home though. How would he explain the look on his face, or this pessimistic attitude if one of his friends saw him? The normally optimistic and supportive Ryohei had turned into a worrisome, gloomy Ryohei in the past few weeks. So far, he d just barely kept up the demeanor of a Sun Guardian, but today was cutting it too close, it would be a mistake to act like that again in public, even if no one was around.

Walking through the kitchen, he grabs a few things from the fridge, not even noticing Kyoko at the table. Welcome-... home, onii..., he was already out of the room but could still hear the hurt in her voice as it dropped from it s welcoming, cheerful tone. He closes his eyes and stopped, No, this isn t her fault. I can t treat her like that. He quickly went back in and rubbed her head, Thank you, Kyoko. You had a good day? She smiled lightly and nodded, Yeah.. but we didn t walk home together. You went to say hi to I-pin but didn t come back. Forgetting and leaving her to walk home alone hurt him, forcing herself to smile even after he had ignored her hurt worse, but the look in her eyes killed him. It was the realization that he d been increasingly distant and cold to her, and the rest of the group. He bends down and hugs her lightly, We ll walk home together tomorrow, okay? He felt tears starting to form, and turns quickly to leave, only pausing once to shoot back an assuring smile to Kyoko.

What kind of big brother am I?, repeated in his head as he briskly walked to his room, closing and locking the door behind him. He drops to the floor and puts his hands flat on the ground, pushing himself up once before pausing. As if frozen, he stares at the floor as all the thoughts come rushing back to him- No. Stop. Pushups. I won t let myself think about any of that. Not right now, or any more today. Ugh, why can t i get a hold of myself? The listless look quickly becomes an intense stare as he shoves out all thoughts other than counting. 1, 2... What was I up to?... 15, 16... I ll just go for 100 today... 27, 28... Gotta stay in shape.. .32, 33... Gotta be strong... 40, 41.. Be strong for I-pin... 42, 43... Stay strong for I-pin... 44, 45. He stopped, staring at the ground again. Okay, that s enough pushups, immediately grabbing his boxing gloves and slipping them on. Turning to face his punching bag, he smirks a little before letting a barrage of punches loose. Without even thinking, the bag shifted into a human shape, a lifeless cutout. The form shrunk slightly in his mind, then a face. His face. He hadn t noticed that his punches had become savage blows, and that his steady breathing had become violent and heavy.

His eyes widened, stopping himself before someone could hear. He held the sides of his head, still shocked at how crazy he was acting, What s wrong with me? I can t think straight, I m so different from my usual self. Being sad or angry or jealous is one thin, but this..., He slumped into a chair with a soft thud and took a few sips from the water bottle. I need to calm down. I can t keep acting like this. What would I-pin think of me? He sighed, feeling the last thought reverberate inside of him. She d never talk to a guy like that. I wouldn t stand a chance with her like th- That was the other thing, wanting to be with her. What happened to being such good friends? What sparked this feeling of love for her? Sure, she was a great girl, but to fall for her when she s taken? And on top of that, potentially ruining one of his best friendships... I can t believe myself.. I know I love her, but I m so afraid of scaring her off. I couldn t bear ending this friendship. What do I do? I want to be with her, but.. it s turning me into a maniac. And I want to be friends. But she s so beautiful and sweet, no one else is like her... He sighs again, longer and deeper this time. Finishing the apple, he lazily tosses it into the waste basket. I guess I m not too hungry today. Ryohei flops himsef onto the bed, not bothering to pull the covers over him, or even get changed. Ugh, he closed his eyes, trying to think of something better, but only one thing was on his mind.

Soft cheeks, pink lips, a cute nose, beautiful dark eyes, long black hair. Who else could have such an adorable face? The figure smiled and turned slighlty away as a quiet giggle was held back. Such a beauty... The girl blushed and turned back to whom she was talking, her head slightly lowered now. The look in her eye serious, but playful. She leaned foreward, blushing and slowly closing her eyes. Her soft lips getting closer, almost able to kiss...

Ryohei s eyes shot open, his heart beating fast and breathing uneven. Even thinking about it made him nervous. He rubbed his forehead, This is... This is crazy. But.. She s so beautiful. Such a perfect girl is wasted on a guy like Hibari. He almost felt bad saying this. Almost, but not enough to regret it. He held a certain amount of respect for him... sort of. But I-pin was too good for him. Surely, he couldn t be good for her right? He d be too cold, or mean, or uncaring. Something like that. And that smile of his, the one where his eyes didn t move. What a creep, smiling like he s hiding something, like he s tricking that sweet, innocent girl into who knows what...

Creep. Freak. Jerk. Does he even like her? He smiles at her like a toy. A toy... that made him cringe. His jaw set, grinding teeth inside. No. That wouldn t happen. Nothing like that. I won t even think that because it wouldn t happen. He clenched his fist but was too drained to punch. I d never forgive him. But... she s too innocent. Hmm...

Only flashes of complete ideas came through as Ryohei drifted to sleep. An uncomfortable, thought-plagued sleep.


End file.
